a shift credited to Father Zossima

January 13, 2013

I said
“I just want to understand”
but she refused to speak
She knew how I’d react
How I would judge
and refute
and combat
with my vast knowledge and
worldly experience

I would scoff at her
her opinions
her beliefs
Tell her why they’re garbage
and use words like

She’d learned to shut down immediately
as soon as I took a stance
Where my back slouched
Brow furrowed
That damned smirk on my face

But that
was the old me

I know I’ve changed
But it’s hard to convince others
Hard to convince her
because she knows the old me
too well
No one has undergone this
with me
except me
The change is not visible

So I guess I’ll have to
Ben Franklin my way
into a meaningful conversation
(at which I am
experienced, as you
may have gathered from
the scenario recounted

I swear
I’ve changed.
I’ve changed.
I’ve changed.
I’ve changed.
open up
I promise I
just want to understand.



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