Chuck E. Cheese’s Restaurant & Lounge

July 7, 2011

Chuck E. Cheese's Restaurant & Lounge

When we were young we’d go to Chuck E. Cheese’s. We put quarters in the machines because we were too cool to exchange them for tokens of identical size and weight. We jumped into the basketball game to ally-oop our way to maximum-ticket glory. We threw the obnoxious, circus-tent-colored, probably-germ-ridden balls out of the ball pit (usually at weak little girls) and blocked the plastic tubes so weak little kids couldn’t get through. When Big Chuck himself came around, we laughed at his dumb little bow tie (this was before his re-branding a.k.a. makeover) and punched him in his big stupid gut and kicked him in his dumb little shins until we got bored and went back for more pizza. Chuck E. Cheese’s is no place for children.

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